Since I missed last Thursday’s throwback post (for a legitimate reason this time — it was the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah), I’m gonna post this today and pretend I’m trying to make #ThrowbackWednesday happen. (It’s not going to happen.)
Original post is from August 26th, 2012, and it’s relevant for its soul-searching and introspection that are supposed to mark this portion of the Jewish year. I don’t know if I’ll have time before Yom Kippur this Saturday to write up a revised version of this list, so I’m going to hide my laziness behind Past-Me’s poignant self-analysis.
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Sandwich Method on Myself
No, this post has nothing to do with feminism.
The “sandwich method” is a colloquial name for method of critique that I’ve been encouraged to use in some of my writing workshop classes, because it is a) the most humane, and b) generally the most effective. It “sandwiches” the criticisms between positive feedback, i.e. it starts with the good, then moves on to the bad, and ends with restating the good or adding more good. People tend to be more receptive to sandwich-structured critiques because it’s clear that you’re on their side.
It’s Elul now, the Hebrew month before the start of the Jewish New Year, and I have to admit: I’m not particularly proud of this year.
I let myself be treated poorly. I left myself be kicked around, I let myself be used. Not saying I was a doormat, because that would be extreme and untrue, but I let my standards slide at times, and let myself think certain things were “okay,” because I thought the trade-offs were worth it and that I was being too picky about what I needed from my friends.
So I’ve decided to use the sandwich method on myself, because it’ll probably be more productive than just wallowing or beating myself up over any of this.
Some things I’m good at:
1) Making soup.
2) Calming people down when they’re freaking out.
3) Talking myself out of doing stupid things.
4) Hiding my pain.
Things I’m bad at:
1) Talking to my parents.
2) Giving up.
3) Letting go.
4) Listening to music for more than half an hour without wanting to bawl my eyes out.
5) Not getting sick.
6) Writing on days when I have no inspiration.
7) Getting my required volunteer hours done. [Edit from the future: This was a college requirement for my Honors program and I got them done!]
8) Not telling myself “you’re asking too much” when no, I’m asking for very little.
9) Keeping in touch with people who aren’t on facebook.
10) Wearing high heels.
11) Not judging people who wear high heels even with back and leg problems.
12) Not valuing the opinions of some people who aren’t really my friends over the opinions of my true friends.
13) Doing my laundry in a timely fashion.
Things I’ve gotten better at but am still not great at:
1) Talking to strangers.
2) Confronting the people who hurt me.
3) Not burning quinoa.
4) Not throwing up when certain conversation topics come around.
5) Making plans that require me to leave the house and put on clothes.
Some more things I’m good at:
1) Keeping in touch with people who ARE on facebook.
2) Finding humor and fun in almost everything.
And a serious question for those of you who think that my list probably isn’t comprehensive: What else am I bad at and should work on during the upcoming year?
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