I get extra credit in class if I get some of these right. So here goes.
Best Picture — Zero Dark Thirty, even though I haven’t seen it and thought Argo was fantabulous.
Best Actor — Daniel Day-Lewis as Lincoln, because HELLO, it’s Daniel Day-Lewis.
Best Actress — Jessica Chastain, because she’s in Zero Dark Thirty. But it’d be cool if the little kid from Beasts of the Southern Wild won and I’d vote for Jennifer Lawrence because she’s so freaking hot.
Supporting Actor — Christoph Waltz, because didn’t he win last time he did a Tarantino movie?
Supporting Actress — Anne Hathaway. Because DUH.
Animated Feature Film — Wreck-It Ralph, for the support group scenes alone.
Cinematography — Life of Pi, because the trailers look pretty and The Hobbit wasn’t nominated.
Costume Design — Les Mis, because they’re trying so hard.
Directing — BEN AFFLECK! Just kidding, he wasn’t nominated. Boo Academy. I’ll go with Spielberg because Spielberg.
Documentary Feature — The Invisible War, because I think I actually heard of that one.
Documentary Short — Redemption, because it sounds uplifting and positive.
Film Editing — ARGO BECAUSE THIS MOVIE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MORE NOMINATIONS.
Foreign Language Film — Amour, because it won the Golden Globe, I think.
Makeup and Hair — The Hobbit because all the dwarf hair.
Musical Score — Skyfall, because I haven’t given it anything yet?
Music – Original Song — The Les Mis song because Les Mis.
Production Design — The Hobbit, because that movie was gorgeous.
Animated Short Film — Paperman, because ADORBS.
Live Action Short Film — Curfew, because it was directed by a dude named Shawn and I like the name Shawn.
Sound Editing — Argo, because I like Argo.
Sound Mixing — Les Mis, because it’s a musical and that stuff is complicated.
Visual Effects — The Hobbit, because it was super long and probably had the most effects purely because of that.
Adapted Screenplay — Silver Linings Playbook, because it feels like that’s the kind of movie the Academy would like, even though I didn’t think it was all that great.
Original Screenplay — Zero Dark Thirty, because I already gave it Best Picture, so this kind of makes sense, right?